What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 19.06.2025 00:33
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I don,t even have a pension.
What is the best way to get my wife to become a hotwife?
But ive been too sick for many years..
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I was scared of men, in general
Why is there no evidence of a multiverse theory?
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
If you were president, how would you make America "great again?"
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
We all went to grammer schools
What do men find attractive in an older woman?
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
My friend asked my crush and he said my crush hates me but not in a rude way. What does that mean?
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
And i lived it daily.
How do I cope with the fact that I will never have a girlfriend?
He resisted the act ,that day.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
How do military families balance personal political views with respect for civilian leadership?
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
So whats the point in blame.
What will help me to get a bigger butt naturally?
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
As i do to all so called friends.?
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Why don't I want to talk to my girlfriend when she loves me a lot? I feel bored.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I never cut or harmed myself..
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I write beautiful poetry .
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Why are black people seen as scary or a threat to some people?
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
How many women have accidentally pooped their pants and became turned on afterwards?
All the time i was locked up.
She wouldn,t have been !
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Why did my ex move on so quickly?
On the 31st of Jan this month .
They are buried together, in the same grave..
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
How do I identify fake friends in life?
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Why did i forgive my father ?
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Ive learnt so much.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
She found it foreign!.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
What did i know ?
But it wasn’t much.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I was 9 years of age.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I waited trembling.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
My life is so biszare .
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I was seconnd youngest,
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
So, i spoilt her more .
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
She was in good health!
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I have no regrets .
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I think the readers, may guess!
He knew the spot.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Put me off passion for life!!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
We were not on the streets..
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
My family never makes their pension either.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
She loved him until the end.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
I will be 64.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I could never make a relationship work though!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
I was very sick at this time too.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
(And it was in our own minds.)
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
It was going to be , some day.
Especially a lifetime of it.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
But, we were locked up after school.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
One cannot live in the past .
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Im still living with it.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Comes on , in middle age.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
When she asked me how she looked .
Would this be the day?
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
This is soul school!.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Who then, do I blame.?
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
She married twice! .
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
My mum and dad in the seventies!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I couldn’t, believe it.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
I said to her
I know ,a lot about trauma.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..